別罵自己小孩

http://www.thewisdom.com.tw/archives/1830?variant=zh-hant

有次讓孩子們寫一篇作文,題目是:「我想告訴媽媽的是……」我原本以為,孩子們會寫出他們對媽媽的祝福與感謝,但事實卻出乎我意料之外……

有位同學在作文簿上這麼寫著:他最討厭媽媽常罵他「白痴」或「白目」之類的話語。我跟那位「白」同學說:以後媽媽再罵你類似的話時,你可以委婉地告訴媽媽,這樣的話會讓他很受傷,而且如果有人這樣說妳的小孩時,媽媽會不會覺得很難過呢?

另外還有位同學,他曾經在大賣場苦苦哀求媽媽買玩具給他。這位媽媽大概覺得在大庭廣眾之下,兩個人在那邊拉拉扯扯,引起不少人側目而感到難堪,於是在惱羞成怒之下,竟然對著孩子罵「三字經」!

其實,我想這些媽媽們只是想「責備」,而不是真的想「辱罵」自己的小孩。「責備」是帶著理性與期待,「辱罵」則是任性與傷害,兩者看起來很類似,但實際效果迥然不同。

「責備」幫助孩子獲得警惕與成長,「辱罵」則讓孩子失去自尊與自信,媽媽的一念之間,決定了孩子是身處天堂或是地獄。

大人罵小孩的話語,就好像迴力鏢一樣,大人難以控制的情緒以及傷人的話語,更加深這把迴力鏢的殺傷力,不止傷了孩子們的自尊和幼小的心靈,甚至也傷了自己。

本文擷取自: 人間福報 – 家庭   文/楊嘉敏
原文網址:http://www.merit-times.com/NewsPage.aspx?Unid=392005



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