别骂自己小孩

http://www.thewisdom.com.tw/archives/1830?variant=zh-hans

有次让孩子们写一篇作文,题目是:「我想告诉妈妈的是……」我原本以为,孩子们会写出他们对妈妈的祝福与感谢,但事实却出乎我意料之外……

有位同学在作文簿上这么写着:他最讨厌妈妈常骂他「白痴」或「白目」之类的话语。我跟那位「白」同学说:以后妈妈再骂你类似的话时,你可以委婉地告诉妈妈,这样的话会让他很受伤,而且如果有人这样说妳的小孩时,妈妈会不会觉得很难过呢?

另外还有位同学,他曾经在大卖场苦苦哀求妈妈买玩具给他。这位妈妈大概觉得在大庭广众之下,两个人在那边拉拉扯扯,引起不少人侧目而感到难堪,于是在恼羞成怒之下,竟然对着孩子骂「三字经」!

其实,我想这些妈妈们只是想「责备」,而不是真的想「辱骂」自己的小孩。「责备」是带着理性与期待,「辱骂」则是任性与伤害,两者看起来很类似,但实际效果迥然不同。

「责备」帮助孩子获得警惕与成长,「辱骂」则让孩子失去自尊与自信,妈妈的一念之间,决定了孩子是身处天堂或是地狱。

大人骂小孩的话语,就好像回力镖一样,大人难以控制的情绪以及伤人的话语,更加深这把回力镖的杀伤力,不止伤了孩子们的自尊和幼小的心灵,甚至也伤了自己。

本文撷取自: 人间福报 – 家庭   文/杨嘉敏
原文网址:http://www.merit-times.com/NewsPage.aspx?Unid=392005



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